Stop Positive Thinking! An Easier Way to Change Your Life  Hale Dwoskin

 

When I was in my early 20s, I was extremely shy. I couldn’t approach women, I had no idea how to properly introduce myself to strangers, let alone make small talk. I’d heard that positive affirmations and “happy thoughts” could bury my fears and help me build the confidence I needed. I was certain that if I told myself I was great in a crowd, I would be great in a crowd. So, for months on end, I walked around all day long repeating over and over in my head, “I am highly pleasing to myself in the presence of other people.” In the meantime, I forgot to stop repeating and start living.

 

Instead of propelling my social life into the next dimension, my record-player thoughts played again and again in my head and I felt completely ridiculous! My quiet self-talk actually reminded me that I was SHY instead of helping me to overcome it. I didn’t need a positive self-talk mantra to overcome shyness. I didn’t need to pile more thoughts on top of the limiting thoughts I already had. I needed to let go of my shy thoughts. It was then that I learned The Sedona Method

 

I learned The Sedona Method quickly and easily and finally learned how to release the limiting thoughts and emotions that actually made me shy. I learned to let go of my shyness, permanently, and now I speak before large groups as part of my job!

 

Positive thinking takes an immense amount of effort and for most people, it doesn’t even work! It only covers the negative thoughts with positive ones and can still leave you crying on the inside. You’ve probably been around someone who smiles on the outside while screaming on the inside. It’s hard to be around those people – they send a real mixed message to others.

 

Imagine that your subconscious mind is a barrel. This barrel has a golden lining representing our unlimited potential. This golden lining is covered by a bunch of rotten apples that represent our limiting emotions-our apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride. Even if you covered the golden lining over with good apples (happy thoughts and happy feelings), what would eventually happen to the apples? They would rot. 

 

I recommend emptying the barrel so you can discover the golden lining that is already present and available in your life at this very moment. You can’t see it because your apples, bad and good, have buried you under. Remove them by letting go of your limiting thoughts, feelings and beliefs and your thinking, feeling and life experience will be 1,000 xs more positive, with not a rotten apple in sight.

 

Here is a simple tool based on The Sedona Method http://www.sedonamethod.com/  that will help you to start letting go.

 

As you go through the following exercise, please keep this in mind. Feelings are just feelings; they are not you and they are not facts. However, we live life as though the opposite is true. It is even in our language! When we feel fear we do not usually say “I feel afraid.”  We usually say I am afraid. We are affirming to ourselves and to others that we are the fear -- and we live as though that’s true. But this could not be further from the truth.

 

Allow yourself to experiment with the following simple questions. If you are open to the questions, you'll find that your negative thoughts and feelings melt away and are replace by truly positive and uplifting ones.

 

The next time you feel any unwanted thoughts or feelings, simply follow these simple steps:

 

Step 1:

 

Focus on the feeling you're feeling in this moment. Just welcome the feeling and allow it to be, as fully or as best you can.

 

Most of us live in our thoughts, pictures, and stories about the past and the future, rather than being aware of how we actually feel in this moment. The only time that we can do anything about the way we feel is Now. The more you work with this process the easier it will be for you to identify what you are feeling. Simply do the best you can.

 

Step 2:

 

Ask yourself following question: Could I let this feeling go?

 

This question is merely asking you if it is possible to take this action. “Yes” or “no” are both acceptable answers. In fact, you'll often let go even if you say “no.”  As best you can, answer this question with a minimum of thought, staying away from second-guessing yourself or getting into an internal debate about the merits of that action or its consequences. Go on to Step 3 no matter how you answered the first question.

 

Step 3:

 

Ask yourself this simple question: Would I? In other words: Am I willing to let go?

 

Again, stay away from debate as best you can. Also remember that you are always doing this process for yourself for the purpose of gaining your own freedom and clarity. It doesn't matter whether the feeling is justified, long-standing, or right.

 

If the answer is “no,” or if you are not sure, ask yourself: Would I rather have this feeling or would I rather be happy and have what I want? Even if the answer is still “no,” go on to Step 4.

 

Step 4:

 

Ask yourself this simpler question: When?

 

This is an invitation to just let it go now. You may find yourself easily letting go. Remember that letting go is a decision that you can make any time you choose. If you want to hold onto the feeling, that is OK. But, simply recognize that it's your choice how long you want to hold on to the feeling.

 

Step 5:

 

Repeat the preceding four steps as often as needed until you feel free of that particular feeling.

 

You will probably find yourself letting go a little more on each step of the process. The results at first may be quite subtle. Very quickly, if you are persistent, the results will get more and more noticeable. You may find that you have layers of feelings about a particular topic. However, what you let go of is gone for good.

 

As you work with this simple process in your life you will find that with less effort you will have a more positive mental attitude and your life will reflect this. You will finally start to have, be or doing what you have always desired.

 

Hale Dwoskin is the CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates. He is an international speaker, corporate consultant and trainer of trainers. He is the author of current New York Times best seller The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-being, foreword by Jack Canfield and the co-author of Happiness Is Free and It’s Easier Than You Think. For more information about The Sedona Method, please visit: www.sedonamethod.com