Creative Ways to Transform Challenges:
Dealing With Feelings

 

Go For It!—Breaking Through Fear  Margaret and David Hiller

 

Franklin Roosevelt once said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  Well, there is a lot of fear on the planet right now, especially since 9/11.  This is one of our greatest challenges, to face our fears and break through to the other side.  If we don’t, it will be very difficult to manifest our dreams and heart’s desires.  These challenges can literally look and feel like huge walls that stop us right in our tracks.  Margaret and I like to deal with these kinds of fears with a “Face the Fear and Do It Anyway” philosophy.  We encourage others to “Go For It!” when a wall appears before them on their path.  We also believe there is a higher and holier view that can help us overcome any challenge with great courage, determination, and God-Know-How!

 

A few years ago we were facing some difficult issues and fear had us stuck in the muck.  We weren’t able to see beyond the fear,  so decided to create a powerful Fear Release Workshop that we knew would “move the energy.”  Together with a couple of friends in Santa Barbara we devised a “Go For It! Breaking Through Fears Ropes Course” event.  You know, one of those fun weekends where you are strapped in and buckled up in harnesses and safety gear and then climb telephone poles 40 feet high, stand on  tiny ledges, walk across rope bridges, and other challenging maneuvers, yelling, screaming and cheering each other on. 

 

The idea is to work as a team, supporting each other and moving through the fear one step at a time until completing the obstacle course.  With lots of encouragement, everyone succeeded.  Everyone was able to negotiate and surmount all of the obstacles and were really pumped up when we came to the last High Ropes event.  To complete the course and get back to the ground we all had to slide down a 1000 foot cable which proved to be quite exhilarating, to say the least, and pushed some of us to the limits of our physical and emotional endurance.  But each person did it and felt really empowered, excited, and energized.  We had conquered the High Ropes!

 

Interestingly, the last event of the workshop was conducted on the ground and proved to be the most challenging of all.   This event was called “The Wall.”  We all stood in front of this 12 foot sheer wooden wall, curiously looked at it, and listened in disbelief as our mighty Ropes Course leader instructed us to “Get over it.”  Well, in that moment we all forgot about the great success we had achieved working together as a team throughout the day.  We all collapsed into our own thoughts of inadequacy, deciding that it was impossible to get over the wall.  How many times have you faced your walls and made that same decision?  The good news is that there is always support from both the seen and the unseen to help us in these situations.  Then, one of the group members had a big “Aha!” and suggested that we pool our ideas and come up with a creative solution to this seemingly impossible task.  As soon as we made the decision to continue working as a team, ideas started coming:  We shifted into possibility thinking and came up with a plan.  The idea was to lift and boost one of the strongest individuals up to the top of the wall.  That person could climb over, stand on the 10 feet high ledge that was on the other side of the wall, and be ready to reach down and help the next person get over the top.

         

Nineteen of the twenty of us supported this idea.  However, there was one young athletic guy whose lifelong program was to do everything by himself and never to count on others for support.  He was willing to help the rest of us but then wanted to be the last one to get over the wall without any of our help.  He was adamant about this so we honored his decision.  Working together as a team, we lifted and pushed the first person to the top, who then helped from that vantage point to pull the next one up and over.  Finally we all managed to get over the wall and then asked this young man if we could help him, but his programming was too strong and he declined. 

So, we all watched in amazement as he walked about 30 feet away and said with great determination, “I’m going to run as fast as I can toward the wall, jump up and push off with one foot, boosting myself up as high as I can, and then grab the top and pull myself over.”  He obviously thought he was Michael Jordan!  But alas, Michael Jordan he was not!  He ran toward the wall at full speed, jumped, pushed off, clawed at the wall as he tried to propel himself up.  Unfortunately, he didn’t get very far and after slamming into the wall, he fell backwards and hit the ground with a loud thud.  Appearing disoriented, he looked up at us rather sheepishly, once again refused our help, got up, and walked the 30 feet back for a second try.  We encouraged him to change his mind, but no, stubborn as could be, he took off running as fast as possible, slammed into the wall, fell backwards, bounced off the ground, eyes spinning around, completely embarrassed.  You know the saying, “Three times is a charm.”  He must have been thinking that, because again he got up, dusted himself off, refused our help, and did the exact same thing for the third time.  He hit the wall full force and just ricocheted off it, tumbling around on the ground, dazed and bewildered!  When he finally recovered, he looked up at us and in that moment, shift happened!  His life changed in the blink of an eye as he asked, “Will you please help me?”  For the first time in his life, he asked for support and a lifelong program changed.  The group shouted a resounding “Yes!” 

         

We all put our heads together and came up with a great plan.  Three strong people from the top of the wall would hold me upside down by my ankles.  I would grab his hands as he jumped up and reached for mine.  Then, we would both be pulled up and over the top of the wall.  It worked perfectly!  Reaching up for help always pays great dividends.  He later told us how powerful it felt to finally let go of all the pressure he constantly put on himself to live his life alone without support.  He had never allowed himself to feel vulnerable because to him it was a sign of weakness.  But after hitting the wall the third time, some sense literally got knocked into him and he made a decision to change his life.  It was just too hard and too lonely to continue doing it the old way.  Receiving support actually felt good.  The real wall he overcame that day was the belief that he couldn’t trust that anyone would be there for him.  What a shift!  What are your walls and how many times do you run into them before asking for help?

         

When in fear quite often we forget to ask some very important questions, such as:

1.     How am I seeing this experience and how is it affecting me?

2.     Am I trying to figure this out by myself?

3.     What are my support systems and am I willing to ask for help?

4.     Am I stuck or paralyzed with fear?

5.     Am I breathing?

6.     Do I remember that God is at work in the midst of this experience?

7.     Have I dealt with this kind of experience before?  Is this a repeat pattern?

8.     Is this one of my walls?

9.     Are my mind and heart working together to create a solution to this dilemma?

 

Asking these kinds of questions can shift the focus from being stuck in the fear to freeing the mind and spirit to work together, create a solution, and move through the fear.  It also reminds us that there are support systems,  both heavenly and earthly, available to help us.  This makes it so much easier to get over our walls.

 

We have all had many opportunities to overcome fear.  Whenever these fear opportunities arise, there is an important message in the experience that we are being asked to understand.   Needless to say, staying in the fear is the greatest obstacle to receiving that message.  When we are afraid everything becomes distorted and we don’t see or understand clearly what is truly being presented to us.  Fear is contagious and can spread like wildfire.  To put out the flames it’s very important to pause and re-center yourself in order to gain a more holy perspective of what is really happening.   Breaking through fear begins in that moment of reflection because what we are really doing is breaking through a very narrow perspective of tunnel vision into a far more expansive view—the Holy Perspective—the Higher Truth.  Seeing more clearly allows our energy to shift and can also affect the energy of others.

 

Margaret and I were living in Santa Barbara, California when the Rodney King trial was going on in Los Angeles.  The media covered the trial day and night and tension was very high.  When the riots began in L.A., fear spread throughout the city and a lot of people got caught up in it.  As fate would have it, we had workshops scheduled on the east coast and the day the riots started we were on a shuttle bus from Santa Barbara to the Los Angeles airport.  Driving through the “City of Angels” was an amazing experience.  Smoke and fires lit up the sky and the sound of gunshots rang through the city.  Needless to say, the closer we got to the riots, the more nervous we became.  To make matters worse, we could hear news reports of the destruction on the shuttle radio.  Well, you guessed it.  We got scared and every fearful thought you can imagine was racing through our minds.  By the time we finally got to the airport we were fully immersed in the drama.

 

When we went into the terminal, we witnessed a scene right out of a Hollywood disaster movie:  Many people were sitting on the floor, some huddled in corners, terrified because it had been reported that snipers were shooting at airplanes.  We felt the effects of the chaos rippling through the airport and didn’t know what to do.  Because of the snipers, air traffic controllers were allowing only one plane to take off every eight minutes.  Fear was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  So, Margaret and I found our own “safe place” and sat there, dumbfounded, mesmerized by this incredible scene.

Time stood still.  I flashed back to Vietnam, to Da Nang during the 1968 Tet offensive.  Not a pleasant experience, believe me.  I remembered a very scary scene at the Da Nang airport as I was leaving ‘Nam.  Our plane was taxiing the runway to take off and rockets were blowing up all around us as the VC were trying to take the airport.  A scene I’ll never forget!  Now, years later, I again felt the fear wanting to take over so I paused and focused on my breathing.  I asked God for help and immediately heard the word “Pray.”  I felt something huge stirring inside of me, comforting me, and I knew it was God.  The feeling of reassurance was far greater than any feeling of fear I’d ever had.

 

So I looked at Margaret and said, “Let’s pray and ask the Divine what this rioting is really all about, what we’re supposed to understand from this.”  She agreed and we took some deep breaths and started praying.  Within a few brief minutes we became calm and felt Divine Presence again.  (It’s important to remember that fear can cause us to forget about Divine Presence.)  We asked God to help us understand what was really happening and both received the same answer, a message that helped us break through our fear and lift our spirits to a new level of understanding.  Both of us stood up at the same time, looked at each other with a renewed sense of peace, and shared our messages.  The Divine Message was this:  Fear and rage are within us all.  People attack others and destroy property only when they are hurting, confused, or oppressed.  The people venting their feelings of frustration and taking part in the riots were giving us all an opportunity to look at our own similar unresolved issues.  Instead of acting out our anger and frustration on others or beating ourselves up, we can choose to be more compassionate with ourselves, and others, and begin to heal those wounds with love and compassion.  We all have the capacity to act out our negative thoughts and feelings, but instead of meeting anger with anger, we can shift our thoughts to be more understanding—first toward ourselves for the anger that we carry, then toward the rioters.  Love is the healer.  Staying in fear only engenders more fear.

         

Margaret and I knew we had received a powerful healing by asking for the Divine message and making this shift to a more centered place where we could actually hear the answer.  From the heart of compassion we prayed for the rioters, as well as their oppressors, and sent blessings to everyone involved.  Within five minutes of that prayer, a ticket agent came up to us and said, “We have a plane leaving for Dallas in ten minutes and we can put you on that plane if you like. Even though Dallas isn’t your destination, you can get a connecting flight from there to wherever you want to go.”  Needless to say, we were grateful for that opportunity!  As you can see, the situation changed dramatically, both an inner change as well as an outer one.  The wildfires had been extinguished for us and we thanked God every minute of that flight to Dallas.  No fear can ever overpower the vast resources of prayer and Divine Thought.  Remember, when you take time to reflect on life’s fearful experiences, instead of reacting to them, you can “see” everything in a whole new light.  So pause and pray when fear comes your way, be kind to yourself and ask for higher understanding.  There is always a gift when you do. Whatever your destination, fly with God and you will always be safe.

 

Dare to Dream Process

 

If fear knocks at your door and walls appear as obstacles on your path, don’t panic. Instead, pause, reflect, and turn within for answers. Try some or all of these suggestions to help you to break through the fear and bring the walls tumbling down:

 

*  Face the fear as opposed to running from it. Pause, reflect, and remember to breathe—to renew self through the breath of God. Breathe this Holy Breath into your heart. God-breath infills you with Life Force energy and strengthens you, whereas the breath of fear draws life energy out and weakens you.

 

*  Pray and re-center yourself so the mind and spirit will work together.

 

*  Ask for God support as well as support from others who you know will be there for you when you need it.

 

*  Remember, God is at work in the midst of this experience—you are not alone.

 

*  Ask inner guidance, “What is this fear all about?”There is always a higher understanding that can provide the answer and ease the fear.

 

* Take positive action to move through the fear as opposed to being paralyzed and stuck in it.

 

*  Love is the healer of fear.  Remember to nourish yourself with loving, compassionate, healing thoughts. 

 

*  Ask this question: “Does all of this fear belong to me or is any of it someone else’s fear that I am feeling?  Free yourself from others’ fears by sending healing thoughts to them. 

 

*  Ask for God’s blessings and trust you are being held in love.

 

*  Remind yourself that no wall, no fear is as powerful as the Divine in your heart so—Go For It! and break through your fears.

 

 

Excerpt reprinted from Dare to Dream: Healing Fears, Creating Miracles and Living Your Dreams (Heart Dream Press, Ashland, OR)

 

© 2002 Margaret and David Hiller. All Rights Reserved. Excerpt reprinted by permission of Margaret and David Hiller.

 

Margaret and David Hiller are the authors of Dare to Dream: Healing Fears, Creating Miracles and Living Your Dreams (Heart Dream Press, Ashland, OR)

 

Rev. Margaret Hiller, M.A. is ordained as an interfaith minister and has a Masters degree in therapeutic psychology.  Since 1979 she has traveled extensively in the U.S. and other countries facilitating groups in the healing and heart opening process.  She maintains a psychospiritual counseling practice in Ashland, Or.  She is a frequent Sunday speaker with Unity and New Thought churches and is known for her wisdom, warmth and humor.  She has taught a popular class entitled “Dynamic Heart Connected Public Speaking” at Santa Barbara City College and is a public speaking coach.  Margaret facilitated a lecture series entitled “Spirituality and Healing in Medicine” at SBCC based on the Harvard Medical School & Mind/Body Institute research. She has also taught at Southern Oregon University.

 

Rev. David Hiller,  M.Ed. is an ordained interfaith minister, author, spiritual counselor and personal empowerment coach and has a Masters degree in counseling.  He has traveled extensively in the U.S. conducting healing, meditation and fear release seminars.  He has twenty five years of counseling experience working with individuals and groups in their healing process and maintains a private practice of psychospiritual counseling in Ashland, Or.  He is known for his enthusiastic coaching skills in helping people to break through fears and has taught at both Santa Barbara City College and Univ. of Calif.-S.B.  His exquisite healing meditations have inspired church congregations throughout the country. He has taught at Southern Oregon University. 
 
For more information about the Hillers’ work or about their book, Dare to Dream, contact them at: miracles1@mindspring.com or visit their Web site at home.mindspring.com/~miracles1.