 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
Creative
Ways to Transform Challenges: Finding
Peace of Mind in a Very Uncertain World Susan Jeffers,
Ph.D. Adapted from Embracing Uncertainty: Breakthrough Methods for Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing the Unknown (St. Martin's Press) There is great adventure
in the unknown that propels us to discover powerful parts of ourselves that we
didn't know were there. As I write this article,
my eyes focus on the cover of our leading news magazines. They tell us that
ANXIETY is the number one issue at the moment. Time Magazine calls us " There is no question that
uncertainty seems to have increased dramatically in the last few years. We
worry about terrorism. We worry about going to war. We worry about losing our
jobs. We worry about the dangers confronting our children. And
on and on and on. This worry is
understandable, given the state of the world at the present time, but there is
no question in my mind that, given the right tools... -all of us can rise above
any situation that life hands us... -all of us can live a
fulfilling life in the middle of the turmoil... -all of us can find a
sense of peace and purpose. My newest book, Embracing Uncertainty, was written to
give you "the right tools" to help you see the world in a more
life-affirming and powerful way. Here, to get you started,
is a taste of a few of the many tools I include in the book... ---"UN-SET"
YOUR HEART. Un-setting your heart means letting go of your picture of how you
want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which
you have no control. Trust me when I tell you that one of the prime causes of
our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all
want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with weapons of mass
destruction. Yes, we all want health instead of illness. Yes, we all want
healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes
life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts to our needing
it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door
to a more powerful way of living. ---CREATE A
"WONDERING" LIFE INSTEAD OF A "HOPING" LIFE. It helps us
un-set our hearts when we substitute the words "I hope" with the
words "I wonder". Let me demonstrate. Instead of "I hope we
don't go to war", make it "I wonder if we'll go to war." Instead
of "I hope the stock market goes up", make it "I wonder if the
stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job",
make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in this
simple shift. Instead of placing yourself in the middle of the drama with your
hopes, wishes, wants and desires, you have placed yourself in the role of
observer of how it will all turn out...as if you were watching a good movie
unfold. "How interesting. I wonder what comes
next." ---CHOOSE THE PATH OF
TRUST. What do I mean by "choosing the path of trust?" When you fully
understand that you have little control in the external world, you then have
two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at
the mercy of circumstances...or you can choose to develop the trust that, no
matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner
strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully you will choose the
latter! ---INCREASE YOUR INNER
SENSE OF POWER. One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off the
negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again,
"Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!" Those of you who know
my work know that it is one of my favorite affirmations! I suggest you emblazon
this powerful affirmation in your mind. If you say it often enough, you will
ultimately believe it! And if you really believe that you can handle anything
that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to
fear? Nothing! So when the "what-if's" are driving you
mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens,
I'll handle it!" You'll feel a sense of confidence wash over you.
"What if we go to war? I'll handle it!" "What if I lose my job?
I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll
handle it." "Whatever happens in
my life, I'll handle it!" Powerful, indeed! ---COLLECT
"HEROES" WHO HAVE LEARNED TO HANDLE IT ALL. Heroes to me are people
who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in
their lives. A few heroes come to mind: Christopher Reeve, who created so much
good as a result of his paralyzing accident; Viktor Frankl,
who created so much good out of his experience in a concentration camp; Ram Dass, who created so much good as a result of his
debilitating stroke; Marc Klaas, who created so much
good after the murder of his daughter. And I could go on and on and on. As you
collect heroes, you understand this important thought, "If they can learn
and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from
mine!" As you collect your
heroes...your models...you are filled with trust and your worry about the
future gets smaller and smaller. Whew! ---FOCUS ON THE LEARNING
THAT CAN COME FROM ANY SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE. Yes, you can learn and find
strength from ANYTHING that happens to you, just as the above heroes have done.
I certainly learned from and found strength as a result of my own experiences
with cancer and my divorce from my first husband. If you see ALL situations in
life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for
things to be a certain way... War............a way of
learning Peace..........a way of
learning Illness..........a way of
learning Health..........a way of
learning Poverty........a way of
learning Wealth.........a way of
learning Depression.....a way of
learning Joy.............a way of
learning So despite what is
happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself "I CAN
LEARN FROM THIS." When you can see the opportunities inherent in ALL
situations...good or bad...it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in
your life. ---EMBRACE THE THOUGHT
"IT'S ALL HAPPENING PERFECTLY." This is another affirmation I use
over and over again. And it truly helps me let go of my needing things to be a
certain way. "Susan, how can things be happening perfectly when there is
possibility of war, terrorism, illness, poverty, and violence?" My answer
to that is we cannot know the Grand Design, the great mystery of it all, and as
we say "It's all happening perfectly", we begin looking for the
"good" in any situation that life hands us. And
when we look for the good, WE ALWAYS FIND IT. Yes, so much good can come
from so much that is bad. In that, it truly is happening perfectly. So when things seem very
difficult in your life or in the world, just keep repeating this reassuring
statement over and over again until it becomes an automatic part of your
thinking. I have this affirmation sitting on my desk and whenever things seem
to be going badly, I look at these reassuring words and repeat them over and
over again. It's all happening
perfectly! It's all happening
perfectly! It's all happening
perfectly! This phrase always helps
me to have trust, not only in myself, but also "the Grand Design." ---FOCUS ON THE RICHES. I
have learned from my heroes that, no matter how horrible life may seem on the
outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily
lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice.
Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the
bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice
all the beauty in our lives! And train ourselves, we
must...because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing
our fears about the future. A suggestion: As you go
about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens.
Then say to yourself while still in the glory of the moment, "I HAVE HAD
THIS." This is the acknowledgement that "No matter what happens
tomorrow, I have had this today." Notice the little things, for it is in
the noticing of the little things that you truly get the feeling of a life
well-lived...that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact
that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the
sun, a candy bar, a wonderful television show...and on and on and on. You can write your I HAVE
HAD THIS moments on little slips of paper and at the end of the day put them
into your I HAVE HAD THIS jar--which is simply a clear glass jar with a sticker
that says I HAVE HAD THIS. In a very short time, you will see your riches add
up to a life well-lived. In fact, you will have to get a bigger jar! When that
happens, you truly begin to lose the sense that life is passing you by.
Instead, you are walking right along with life and gathering all that it has to
offer. You are not missing a thing. It stands to reason that you worry less and
less about the future as you appreciate life to its fullest NOW! ---GET INVOLVED. Positive
action has an amazing effect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel
more powerful and our fear about the future decreases considerably. Keep
repeating to yourself... "My life has meaning
and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world." Then: 1) ask yourself,
"What am I asked to do?"; 2) make a list of
what comes to mind, and 3) begin taking action. When you remember that your
life has meaning, it makes it so much easier to push through the fear and live
a life that matters. And your self-esteem grows and grows. Just as importantly,
you will have found the secret of creating a joyous and fulfilling life. The above offers you a
great way to begin. You can learn much more about these tools (and many others)
at "the source"--Embracing Uncertainty. As you make these tools a
part of your daily life... -you experience a whole
new sense of purpose emerging from within... -you begin to trust that
you are more powerful than you could ever have imagined... -And, while enjoying the
present, you look forward to the future with an attitude of great
possibility--for yourself and for your world. I think you'll agree that
it doesn't get any better than that! © Susan Jeffers 2003 Adapted from Embracing Uncertainty: Breakthrough Methods
for Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing the Unknown Published by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. is
considered one of the top self-help authors in the world. Her books have been
published in over 100 countries and translated into at least 30 different
languages. Feel the Fear and Do It,
Anyway launched her career as a best-selling author. Some of her many other
titles include Feel the Fear and Beyond,
End the Struggle and Dance With Life, and Opening Our Hearts to Men. Her newest
book, Embracing Uncertainty, is now
making its way around the world. Filled with the tools we all need to help us
through these tense, dangerous and worrisome times, it has already been
nominated for an award in the
Copyright © 2000-2003 Life Challenges |