Creative Ways to Transform Challenges:
Gratitude as an Attitude Transforms Suffering

Gratitude As Antidote to Bitterness and Resentment  M.J. Ryan
 
Twenty years ago, Cynthia, a petite, talented woman in her late twenties, got divorced in a terrible breakup. Two decades later, bitter and resentful, she is still obsessed with her ex-husband, bad-mouthing him to her children and friends whenever she gets a chance, convinced that he ruined her life. In a way, of course, he did. Because she kept focusing on her pain and resentment, she was never able to heal and move on. Hurt and hateful, she hasn't been able to attract new love in her life, and her now-grown children avoid her like the plague.
 
Have you ever met someone so bitter about their life that they feel like a black hole sucking away all the energy around them? Whether we call them pessimists, ingrates, or those who always see the glass as half-empty, they are a drag to be around. So focused on what hasn't worked for them they can't see the ways they have been the recipients of gifts, blessings, and surprises.
 
Most of us aren't total black holes, but when we fail to give thanks for what happens in our lives, we can get hung up in bitterness that prevents us from developing emotionally and spiritually. If we fail to grow, the light inside us grows dim.
 
Bitterness is a poison that snuffs the light of our souls, hardening us to life's pleasures and joys by keeping us focused only on what is wrong. When the man I lived with for fourteen years left me, he said it was because I was turning bitter and he didn't want to stick around to see it. Although there were other reasons for our breakup, including many he was responsible for, after the pain of the loss had subsided I gave thanks to him for the wake-up call; I was turning into a resentful woman, and that was the last thing on Earth I wanted to be.
 
I'm determined not to sink into bitterness again. While there are plenty of things in life to be justifiably annoyed, angry, or hurt at, that doesn't mean that I should completely ignore all that is beautiful, good, and touching. I want my soul to shine with an overflowing of love, and practicing gratitude is one of the best ways I know to do it.
 
Gratitude is a inner light that we can use to illumine our souls. The more we are thankful, the more light we experience and the more we shine forth into the world.
 

From Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life by M.J. Ryan (c) 1999 by Conari Press. Excerpted with permission from Conari Press, Berkeley, California. www.conari.com. For more information, call 1-800-685-9595

Copyright © 1999 Life Challenges