Life Challenges

Creative Ways to Transform Challenges:
Meditating

Beyond Body and Self Images: Reflections and a Meditation ZM Suzanna Nadler, M.Ed, LPC

From a very young age we begin to know ourselves through our relationship to our bodies, how we feel, our sensations. These experiences of ourselves create body images. Body images are the images contained within our bodies of how we experience ourselves. Although they do not necessarily match reality because they are based on experiences from our past, we believe in the cells of our body that this experience of ourselves is true. An example of a body image is experiencing oneself as being fat. This might be felt on a bodily level as a sensation of being bloated in the belly, an experience of being bigger than even our body boundaries!

Closely associated with body images are self images. Self images are made up of the roles we play, our beliefs about life, our feelings, and our thoughts. For example, think of how you would describe yourself to someone without giving your name. I might describe myself as a counselor and teacher (roles) who has studied a lot of dance which helps me to use my awareness of the body to work with people (role). I am strong (body) and fiercely independent (thoughts). I tend to be enthusiastic (feeling) with lots of energy (body). Most of us relate to each other and to ourselves through roles, our bodies, our feelings or our thoughts.

Surrendering unreal identities. When we identify ourselves according to the way that has become familiar, we are not aware that this identity is not real. Self and body images become what we think of as our identity and actually hold us to what is familiar, to a specific identity that is not currently based in reality. For instance, I am the mother of a fourteen year old. If I hold onto the identity of being the mother of a child, this causes problems for me and my son as he grows up. Yet to surrender the identity of being a mother of a child is a loss; there is some pain in letting go of the experience of being needed and the closeness of the mother-child bond. Each time our identity shifts there is a loss, but holding onto that identity creates suffering.

The one thing we can be assured of in life is change and change, whether it be an accident, illness, or aging threatens how we have come to "know" ourselves, who we believe we are.

Accepting our vulnerability.

Illness is threatening, not only because we all have a natural instinct for survival but also because illness is a mini death in and of itself. The foundation of who we believe we are is our body image and illness threatens and changes this image. For many years I have believed myself to be strong person based on the physical strength I experience in my body. This physical strength was actually developed as a compensation for feeling very weak and helpless to change what happened to me as a child. Since I am more comfortable with experiencing myself as strong, I cover up my weakness. Being ill upsets my identity of being a strong person and brings me back face to face with what is underneath that compensating strength - weakness. How I relate to my weakness will affect my ability to accept my illness.

Illness makes us readjust and reexperience more of who we are. When sickness opens me up to my weakness, this does not take away from my strength but actually allows me to also experience my vulnerability as a human being. I have found that my real strength lies within my ability to allow myself to be weak. In order to adjust to change, to be flexible with what life brings, the key is to allow ourselves to be where we are. This is the true strength of the moment with ourselves, with each other.

This capacity to allow ourselves to be just where we are sounds so simple and yet it is quite complex. We have so many defenses and judgments that protect us from really relaxing into what is the present reality. Relaxing and letting go of our identities is a kind of death which is experienced by the ego, by our personality as a threat to our survival. Hence our ego protects us from really relaxing and surrendering to the reality of the moment.

A Meditation To Bring Awareness of Where We Are

Meditation really helps to loosen our rigid identities and allows us to open up to more possibilities; we literally are making space in our lives. Here is a simple meditation exercise that incorporates the benefits of meditation and the process of allowing ourselves to be exactly where we are.

In this meditation you focus on your breathing, noticing the inhale, the exhale. Not trying to change your breathing, not trying to change anything, just noticing. You can add the words, IN on the inhale and OUT on the exhale, gently bringing your awareness back to your breath as your mind strays. Do this for several minutes. Now take an inventory of your body. What is the energy like in your body? Are there any sensations in your body (pain, tension, aliveness)? Pick an area in your body that you want to focus on and breathe in with the awareness of this part. Such as "Aware of my shoulders, the tension in my shoulders, I breathe in". Then on the exhale, put a slight smile on your lips and add the word "Smiling". This is done silently to yourself for about 5 breaths. Then you can proceed to another part of your body.

This simple exercise brings a nonjudgmental awareness to ourselves of where we are in the moment, freeing us from having to be a certain way or seeing ourselves in a limited way. Meditation brings us to the awareness of ourselves as beyond our bodies, our roles, our feelings, our thoughts to a place where we simply are. This is the part of ourselves that is not defined and is unchanged by sickness, accident or age.

ZM Suzanna Nadler, M.Ed., LPC at the Self & Soul Center, Talent, Oregon, specializes in the body/mind continuum through the use of movement therapy and body awareness. For more information, contact her at zahira@cdsnet.net, 541-535-3338 or visit www.selfsoulcenter.org.

| Meditating | Creative Ways to Transform Challenges |