Finding Meaning and Happiness After Disability-Life Challenges

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Hugs, Hope and Peanut Butter: Finding Meaning and Happiness After Disability by Marsha Jordan

I had always cared about sick children and tried to help them; but when my little grandson received third degree burns, I learned firsthand how helpless a loving adult feels when your little one is suffering and you can't take the pain away. This experience helps me to empathize with parents who write to me about their sick children. One mom told me that she felt like running out into the street and screaming, "My child is sick. Won't somebody please help us?" It breaks my heart that these parents are so desperately searching for someone to care and to help them through the ordeal of watching their helpless child suffer. So I decided to be that someone and do as much as I could. I've found it amazing how much I can do, even though I'm disabled. Maybe the very fact that I AM disabled is what has allowed me to do so much. I have the time that most people can't spare. And I have the ability to understand what it's like to be sick, frustrated, afraid, or lonely. So actually, my misfortune has become an asset in this situation.

Two years ago, due to complications of an autoimmune disease, I lost my eyesight. Fortunately, I regained some vision, but I was no longer able to work. Suddenly I had a lot of time on my hands. At first, I went through a depression feeling that my life was empty and meaningless. Because I could not do any of the things I used to do, I believed that my life had no purpose and I wasn't much good to anybody anymore. God had other ideas!

Because I belonged to several online prayer chains, I received daily emails requesting prayer for sick children. I decided to post their stories and pictures on a web page in order to network with others who wanted to help these kids too. In August of 2000, the Hugs and Hope Club for sick children was born.

What began as a hobby has mushroomed into a full-time ministry. Since my website went up in October of 2000, I've received dozens of emails each week from distraught parents begging me to put their child's story on my site. And over 325 volunteers have signed up to send children "happy mail."

The website features children from all over the world and receives hundreds of hits each day. It also features a chat room so that families of the sick children may communicate with each other, sharing ideas and encouragement.

Before I began this project, the days dragged by for me. Now there are not enough hours in the day to do all that I want to do for these families; and I spend many hours each day on the Internet sending encouraging emails to parents, creating web pages for the children's stories, updating the volunteer letter writers, or emailing organizations to ask them to help families of children like Nathan.

Nathan and his little brother PJ both have the fatal Batten's Disease. Their parents are desperately trying to raise the $100,000 they need each month for medical treatment to save their boys.

It really is true that when God closes a door, He opens a window. That's what happened for me. I thought when I became disabled that I was no longer able to accomplish much that was worthwhile, but I believe that I am now doing the most worthwhile work of my entire life. Instead of feeling bad about what I can no longer do, I concentrate on doing what I can --helping others and glorifying God in each little thing that I can do. I do the best I can and leave the rest to God. You may have a lot of problems of your own. If so, the best thing you can do is forget about them and focus on someone else's problems. As I read somewhere once, "pain is inevitable, but misery is optional." Sure you will have pain, but you don't need to wallow in it. You don't have to be miserable, no matter what your situation. When you take your mind off of your problems, and concentrate on bringing joy to others, you will feel great! When your focus is on bringing happiness to others, without even realizing it, you bring happiness to yourself.

The response to my meager effort has been phenomenal. Musicians from around the country have contributed tapes and CD's of children's music, and they have organized benefit concerts. Publishers and authors donate children's books, quilters and sewers make hand made quilts, angels, and teddy bears, and youth groups work together and send out hundreds of hand made cards.

Anyone can help a sick child is some way. Whatever your talent, you can use it to benefit suffering children or their families. Whether it's creating graphics for a website, organizing benefits to raise medical funds, or sending an encouraging note to a disheartened, weary parent or a Barney video to a child undergoing chemotherapy. It all helps, and it all makes a difference in the lives of these children. And the joy of giving to these helpless little ones is more rewarding than anything else you will ever do! One of my favorite quotations is from

Bernie Siegel, "Love is deep involvement with another. If you say that you don't get back as much as you give, then you are not really loving. Love doesn't measure. It just gives."

Love and happiness remind me of sticky peanut butter. When you spread them around, you always end up getting some on yourself. If you want to spread a little love and joy, log on to the Hugs and Hope Club. I guarantee that the joy you spread will come back to you. You can't help getting some on yourself too!

Marsha Jordan, a grandma disabled by an auto-immune disease, lives in northern Wisconsin with her husband of 26 years and her toy poodle, King Louie. She enjoys entertaining, decorating with antiques, and rubber stamping. Her Hugs and Hope Club has won several awards for exceptional achievement in helping children and Marsha was named "Angel of the month" by Her Planet.com. The program relies upon the support of individuals and organizations to write to the children and donate in other ways. Visit the website at http://www.hugsandhope.org.

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