Untitled  Victoria Molta

 

There have been times in my life when I have lived in a warm, brightly lit

room. When the light burns out, I get down on my hands and knees and crawl to

a door leading to another room. I poke my face against a crack in the door,

grab the doorknob, turn it and enter a room that is flooded with light. I

leave the room of darkness and quietly close the door behind me.

 

I would like to immerse myself in the world and fill my life up with myriad

experiences, to learn and to grow. But, I need to take into account that what

I want and what I am able to do may not always match up or run parallel paths

with each other. I am still emotionally fragile and need time to build up my

strength. It makes me think of something I read-

 

A fisherman was in the hospital recovering from a series of strokes and he

spoke of a friend and fellow fisherman who shared his love of the sea, the

salty air, the meditative aspect of fishing. He said, " When I talk with guys

like Sammy, I get excited. But I have to temper myself down and say, “I know

I can't do that right now.”

 

A sick child looks longingly out a window, sits up in bed and feels the

warmth of the sun stream through the glass panes, watching his friends play

outside. The time will come when he can run outside and join his friends in

activities, feeling the warmth of the sun radiating on his face directly. He

will no longer need to be protected from its intensity by a window pane.

 

 

Victoria Molta has been a writer and poet for over twenty years. A survivor of mental illness, she has advocated throughout Connecticut to improve the lives of others suffering from mental illness. Her work has been published in several national journals and web sites and she has read her poetry over a local cable television show as well as a Connecticut radio program. She has recently finished a manuscript of her work on living with mental illness and recovery as a spiritual journey. Contact Victoria at 346 Greene Street, New Haven, CT 06511, (203)772-1332, vmolta@aol.com.