Life Challenges

People Tell Their Stories:
Abuse and Violence

"I'll Break Your Legs So That You Will Never Walk Again" Rosalyn

Having grown up with years of physical and verbal abuse, it has been a lifetime journey towards healing.

Today, those words crept into my head, the words my father used, the times he would come home angry, and upset. My mother would let him know all the terrible thing that I had done that day. And it would start...

First the words, and slowly the anger, and the voice got louder and then the fists would come at me, hitting me.

My father died this year. He never admitted to the abuse. When I confronted him with the hurt, he claimed that "it never happened." And maybe in his mind, his way of distorted thinking. But I knew it happened. Because it could not be discussed, I had a hard time telling truth from fiction. When you suppress the truth, you also lose parts of yourself.

As I sat down today. The classified ads in front of me. Searching for a job, not sure of what I wanted, what I had offer. Wondering where and how my fear of the future, fear of standing on my own came from. A small voice within me came up with the phrase "I'll break your legs so that you will never walk again." A phrase my father had used many times as he hit me with a stick across my legs.

Tears came to my eyes, and then huge engulfing sobs as I realized how I had truly become crippled by those words. A small scared child in the body of an adult.

I lay down and let the tears and pain wash over me. Cleansing and clearing, knowing that they had come as a gift, to release and heal me from the past.

I saw myself as a small, wounded bird, it's wings broken. I held the small bird in my hands, cupping it, breathing new life into the bird. I was healing the wounds. I watched as the bird gained strength, fluttered it's wings and was able to fly, finally.

Watching the bird fly I silently asked it to take those dark shadow thoughts away with it. That I no longer needed those beliefs. That I needed to be healed and wanted to go forward, and soar like the bird.

I silently gave thanks to the many guides that have always been with me for answering my call for healing. For letting me see what was holding me back. What I needed to excavate from the dark dungeons and bring into the light of forgiveness and healing.

And then I realized how many others were out there who had experienced abusive childhoods, and did not know how to heal the past so that they might go forward to a better tomorrow.

Thank you for letting me share this story. If I have touched one person, if I have helped another to re-live and more importantly re-frame the events in their lives, I will feel that I have made a contribution.

Rosalyn uses her intuitive ability to help others create their best future. Through the use of positive imaging, she helps client recognize the "shadow beliefs" that run their lives. This is replaced with a new, powerful image of the what the soul has come to Earth to accomplish. She may be reached at RuzenaD@aol.com.

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