People Tell Their Stories:
Death and Dying

New Life After the Death of a Daughter  Diane Cole
 
During Carol's (Shirley's daughter) illness, feeling "angry with God" but seeking answers from him nonetheless, Shirley had consulted a local rabbi and enrolled in a class about the meaning of Judaism. "Through those classes I got in touch with something spiritual that I had never felt before," Shirley says..."I started in that class before Carol's death, and afterward the group was a source of tremendous strength. The spirituality was like a breath of air. Taking a walk in the country and talks with the rabbi and developing that spiritual sense-those were the things that helped.
 
"But after the summer, I could not go back to work. The rabbi suggested that I go to a program in clinical pastoral education. I trained to be a chaplain at a hospital, and that was very healing-being with people in intensive care, on the emergency ward, and getting the different perspectives on life.
 
"I learned from them. I spent time with parents who were losing or had lost children, and they found strength from my example. And I continue to be a chaplain, as a volunteer at a local hospital." She also recently helped organize a Sabbath weekend retreat for parents who had lost a child....
 
"It's hard to make something good come out of this, but doing so helps keep Carol with me," Shirley goes on. "...the thing that seems important to me now is relationships with others and looking inward. I feel I have a ministry, .... I know how important it is to be there, to just listen and hold out a hand, without saying a word."
 
 
From After Great Pain: A New Life Emerges by Diane Cole, Summit Books, New York, NY, 1992, pp. 168-169

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